I was at football last weekend and the assistant referee in front of the stand I was in was female. She was innocuous, did a perfectly fine job, and was consistent and fair.

Just before half time there was a contentious goal. It might have been offside but the referee and assistant decided it wasn’t. With no VAR – Video Assistant Referee – the goal stood. At this point a man in front of me decided to take his ire out on the female assistant. She was accused of being lots of things and the language used was both crude and highly misogynistic. Someone near him suggested the decision was fair (replays later proved it was) and was accused of being a ‘snowflake’.

The guy shouting the abuse had women sitting round him but seemed quite happy to continue abusing the assistant referee using names I won’t publish here. Thankfully my club has a hotline which can be used to text antisocial behaviour and bad language along with the location of the individual. I’ve never done it before, and didn’t know if anyone else had messaged them, so I sent a text which explained what had happened. Ten minutes into the second half three stewards approached him from one end of the row, three from the other. They escorted him away from the crowd and out of sight.

After ten minutes or so he returned and told the people he was with that he had been reported and told to tone his language and behaviour down.

A few thoughts:

• There is NO reason not to challenge sexist behaviour
• It isn’t Monday to Friday 9-5
• There are systems in place to support you
• Doing something small can make a big difference
• Bullies don’t like being escorted out by six people
• Don’t stop living your values on this stuff – it matters

I hope the assistant referee gets a report that this happened; I have no doubt she has heard things like this before and wouldn’t want this occasion to be the point where she decides to stop.