I’ve had quite a few conversations recently where I’ve used the phrase ‘help me understand’ to establish what’s happening. It’s a really useful three words since it is non-threatening and more focused than ‘tell me’.

Help is a plea for support, acknowledging the expertise of the responder is required. Me identifies it is not the responder’s fault but the questioner who needs the help. Understand is a stronger request than a simple tell or explain suggestion; it asks for context.

For example compare these statements:

1️⃣ Why is your turnover higher than the industry average?

2️⃣ Help me understand why your turnover is higher than the industry average.

Which of these two is more powerful? Let me know in the comments.