An attempt today to find some humour in what we do. I’ve been jotting these down for years. If you recognise them, you’ve probably said them (or know someone who has). If one’s yours, claim it. All in fun.

Also, please don’t take offence – these are just an attempt at levity!

Asynchronous Learning
A PowerPoint presentation someone turned into an unskippable video

Blended learning
Half the course won’t work on mobile

Coaching & mentoring
Repeating your words, but slower, and charging for it

Community of practice
The WhatsApp group which never shuts up

Compliance training
Digital hostage taking

Content curation
Reposting links with your branding

E-Learning
Learning in Yorkshire

Gamification
A leaderboard with the same half dozen people on it

Just-in-time learning
Frantically searching YouTube seconds before a meeting

Knowledge transfer
Explaining Excel until you retire

Learning analytics
Graphs that prove people clicked “next” a lot

Leadership development
See: “Management development” and make it 20% more expensive

Management development
Explaining how not to shout in meetings

Microlearning
Content so small you forget it before it’s finished

Peer-to-peer learning
Asking your mate instead of doing the e-learning

Performance consulting
Telling managers the problem isn’t training, but designing training because that’s what they want

Performance support
Popups which appear at the wrong time and never go away

Personalised learning
The same course. Hi Andrew

ROI
Asking the impossible and ignoring the answer

Self-directed learning
Googling the answers before the test

Social learning
Sharing the answers to the test with your friends so they don’t have to do the e-learning

Spaced Repetition
The same three points repeated in every single module you take

Please do add your own learning industry phrases and definitions!

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